Tammy Taxter Fleming

Biblical Antidotes to Burnout

This was about an hour-long virtual lecture I did as a breakout class for the ICOC Teachers Service Team conference, The Art of Scripture Reading. I was grateful to be able to do this virtually as the conference coincided with plans for us to bring our family together in celebration of Andy’s and my 35th wedding anniversary. That was one of those things we almost didn’t do — rather self-indulgent, inconvenient, the timing is awkward, it’s expensive, etc. — and I am SO grateful that we did. That’s a story for another post, how it was a wonderful time and we returned home to Ukraine just in time for the declaration of martial law and the beginning of the war (from Ukraine’s perspective) on February 24th, 2022. That’s why the setting for my class is a hotel room in Colorado.

It was an honor to be included in this lineup of known scholars and my own heroes of faith. I was very grateful to have the chance to talk about the fresh discoveries I’ve been making in my personal Bible study, so relevant to the topic of “burnout.”

Jesus and Loss

A LOOK AT JESUS AND LOSS

For some of us, loss and grief and death intrude into life very early. Others enjoy a happy childhood and are only shaken by tragedy as adults. As my own appreciation of how many and varied the experience of loss has grown and broadened, I started to look at Jesus a little bit differently. I started to see all kinds of losses in his life that I hadn't thought about before. As time goes on, I keep adding to this study, as more thoughts occur to me. I hope that it encourages you as it has me.

Jesus and Loss

The man, Jesus Christ, experienced a great deal of loss in his life. Isaiah describes him as “a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.”

All Scriptures are quoted from the New International Version of the Bible, NIV, and are simply reproduced here as they appear in the Bible. The italicized bullet points following each section of Scripture are my observations about the various types of loss that Jesus experienced during his time on earth. A lot of these were new ideas for me. The effect of my doing this Bible study has been that now, passages like Hebrew 4:15 seem much more personal and irrefutable.

Hebrews 4:15

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Philippians 2:5-8

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own

advantage;rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

• Jesus was with God in the beginning, the creation was accomplished with him and through him (John 1:1ff, Colossians 1: 15-20). He had been one with God, in God and of God, Divine. He gave up being almighty; omniscient; omnipresent; and, by definition, became a slave when he became a man. That’s a lot of loss and Jesus hasn’t even lived his first day as a human, and all this has already been lost: his place in heaven, his heavenly body, his proximity to God, wisdom, power, strength, freedom, mobility – can you think of anything else?

Luke 2:41-52

41Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. 42When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. 43After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, "Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you."

49"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" 50But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

51Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

• V. 50: Loss of relationship, trust, understanding between himself and his parents (most of us have experienced this in teen years!)

• V. 46, 49: Here, Jesus is sitting among the teachers in the temple, listening to them, learning from them, sharing with them. These were his role models at this time, the leaders, most learned and respected men of his faith. They were those entrusted with the care and service of his Father’s house.

Luke 4:14-30

14Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.

16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. 17The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: 
18"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners 
and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 
19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

22All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. "Isn't this Joseph's son?" they asked.

23Jesus said to them, "Surely you will quote this proverb to me: 'Physician, heal yourself! Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum.' "

24"I tell you the truth," he continued, "no prophet is accepted in his hometown. 25I assure you that there were many widows in Israel in Elijah's time, when the sky was shut for three and a half years and there was a severe famine throughout the land. 26Yet Elijah was not sent to any of them, but to a widow in Zarephath in the region of Sidon. 27And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed—only Naaman the Syrian."28All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. 29They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff. 30But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.

Matthew 13:53-58 (parallel passage to Luke 4:14-30)

53When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. 54Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. "Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?" they asked. 55"Isn't this the carpenter's son? Isn't his mother's name Mary, and aren't his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? 56Aren't all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?" 57And they took offense at him.

But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."

58And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

  • Luke 4: 14-15 At this moment in Jesus’ ministry, “everyone was praising him” and news about him spread; but Luke 4: 24 he was rejected in his hometown. He was not accepted by those who were “his people,” his relatives, those who watched him grow up, neighbors, family friends, teachers, etc. Loss of belonging

  • Luke 4: 28-29 Abuse, violence toward him from those he once “belonged to”

  • Loss of idealism

  • Shame, rejection

  • Loss of relationship – those he once trusted, looked up to

    Mark 3:20-22

    20Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."

    22And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, "He is possessed by Beelzebub! By the prince of demons he is driving out demons."

  • Loss of relationship with family – they don’t trust him, they don’t believe him, they think he’s crazy.

  • No mention of Jesus’ father here, at a time of family crisis (Mark 3:31-34; see also Matt 12:46-49; and John 19:26-27), or anywhere after the incident when Jesus’ parents lost him for 3 days on the way home from Jerusalem. Implies that his father must have passed away sometime between then and now, so Jesus has dealt with the loss of his father, possibly as a teenager, though maybe as late as when he was 30 –33. Joseph was a righteous, godly man (Matthew 1:19);

therefore, Jesus would have grieved the loss of that relationship and missed his

father .• Look at Luke 11:39-54 and John 2:14-16 to see the dramatic change in Jesus’

relationship with the religious leaders and teachers in the temple. Compare this with Luke 2 when he was sitting and discussing with them as a boy – what kinds of loss must he have experienced in these relationships from this change in attitude?

Luke 9:44

While everyone was marveling at all that Jesus did, he said to his disciples, 44"Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you: The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men.

  • Jesus knew betrayal, and even had to bear the weight of knowing ahead of time that betrayal was coming, even from his closest friends (yet none of the twelve disciples knew that Judas would be the one to betray Jesus, though they all spent a lot of time together – Jesus never treated Judas any differently than any of the others. What kind of loss and pain might Jesus have felt in his relationship with Judas?)

  • Jesus watched all of his closest friends and followers run away and leave him, at a time when he was probably at the lowest point of his life, emotionally (Matthew 26:38, 56b.)

    Luke 9:58
    58
    Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests,

    but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

  • Jesus had to deal with the loss of a “normal” life. No nice home. No dream career. No usual achievements. No marriage. No children. By the age of 30 most of his childhood friends would have had these things. No material wealth.

  • Loss of a sense of belonging to any “place;” homelessness

    Matthew 14:1-12
    1
    At that time Herod the tetrarch heard the reports about Jesus, 2and

he said to his attendants, "This is John the Baptist; he has risen from the dead! That is why miraculous powers are at work in him."

3Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, 4for John had been saying to him: "It is not lawful for you to have her." 5Herod wanted to kill John, but he was afraid of the people, because they considered him a prophet.

6On Herod's birthday the daughter of Herodias danced for them and pleased Herod so much 7that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she asked. 8Prompted by her mother, she said, "Give me here on a platter the head of John the Baptist." 9The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted 10and had John beheaded in the prison. 11His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl, who carried it to her mother. 12John's disciples came and took his body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus.

• Bereavement: Jesus lost his father, and here we see he lost his cousin, John the Baptist, to a violent, senseless death, at the whim of a selfish, cowardly king, by beheading. John was the one, as stated in Old Testament prophecies, who would “prepare the way” for Jesus. Not only was he a like-minded person (“soulmate”?) for Jesus, with whom he shared much in common; but also, his death signified that Jesus’ ministry was beginning and surely signaled to Jesus, as well, the inevitability of his own demise and martyrdom

Matthew 14:13

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns.

• Jesus was not allowed time to grieve the death of his cousin. See v. 14-21 – he then compassionately fed 5000 people

Matthew 16:21-23

21From that time on, Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never Lord!” he said, “This shall never happen to you!”

Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are

a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”

• Loss of victory, loss of hope for success: Jesus had just had evidence in Peter’s confession (Matt 16:16, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God,” that he was succeeding in carrying out his Father’s mission for his life. Now, immediately on the heels of that, we have failure – Jesus might have felt like they were all back at square one.

Isaiah 49: 1-4

Listen to me, you islands;
hear this, you distant nations:

Before I was born the Lord called me;
from my mother’s womb he has spoken my name.

He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of his hand he hid me;

he made me into a polished arrow and concealed me in his quiver.

He said to me, “You are my servant,
Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.”

But I said, “I have labored in vain;
I have spent my strength for nothing at all.

Yet what is due me is in the Lord’s hand, and my reward is with my God.”

• Jesus knows what it is to feel like a failure: “I have labored in vain, I have spent my strength for nothing at all.” Through this prophecy we gain insight into a feeling Jesus would have at some point during his ministry – it’s possible that he spoke these words in prayer to God, repeated them to his closest brothers, heard them in his head on the cross. They are attributed to Jesus here, in any case. The biblical commentator Matthew Henry, in his chapter on Isaiah 49, regarding these verses, wrote, “...

have laboured in vain

Isaiah 49: 7

here it seems to point at the obstinacy of the Jews,

among whom Christ went in person preaching the gospel of the kingdom,

laboured and spent his strength, and yet the rulers and the body of the

nation rejected him and his doctrine; so very few were brought in, when

one would think none should have stood out, that he might well say, “I

, preached so many sermons, wrought so many

miracles, in vain.” (https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/matthew-

henry/Isa.49.1-Isa.49.6, accessed March 27, 2018)

This is what the Lord says—
the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel—

to him who was despised and abhorred by the nation, to the servant of rulers...

Isaiah 53:2-5

2b He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him and afflicted.

  • The Bible says that Jesus understands what it is to mourn, grieve.

  • He understands rejection; social isolation.

  • He was not physically attractive.

  • He was deeply hurt by the behavior of other people.

  • He was not respected; not valued; not accepted as he was; considered unsuccessful, a failure, by other people, to the extent that they assumed even God was actively opposing him. He was completely misjudged and misunderstood by most people (since he was in fact, the Son of God and had God’s favor -- see Matthew 3:17, John 6:66, Matthew 27:12, Acts 1:15. After three years of focused ministry which reached thousands of people, only 120 believers remained after his death).

    Isaiah 52:13-53:12

    Isaiah 52: 13

    See, my servant will act wisely;he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.

    14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him;
    his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness—

    15 so will he sprinkle many nations, and kings will shut their mouths because of him. 
For what they were not told, they will see, 
and what they have not heard, they will understand.

• Loss of human rights: Physical Abuse.

Isaiah 53
Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the

LORD been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. 
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, 
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, 
 he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely, he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, 
 and by his wounds we are healed.

  • The Bible says that Jesus understands what it is to mourn, grieve.

  • He understands rejection; social isolation.

  • He was not physically attractive.

  • He was deeply hurt by the behavior of other people.

  • He was not respected; not valued; not accepted as he was; considered unsuccessful, a failure, by other people, to the extent that they assumed even God was actively opposing him. He was completely misjudged and misunderstood by most people (since he was in fact, the Son of God and had God’s favor -- see Matthew 3:17, John 6:66, Matthew 27:12, Acts 1:15. After three years of focused ministry which reached thousands of people, only 120 believers remained after his death).

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; 
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, 
 and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, 
 and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

  • Loss of dreams, possibilities, ambitions, plans, expectations, future. What might the human-bound imagination of the Almighty Creator God in the form of Jesus have dreamed about doing/experiencing as a 40-year-old? Jesus knew in advance about the horrible circumstances of his death, which were prophesied in Scripture.

  • His appearance would be disfigured beyond that of any man; his form marred beyond human likeness; pain; disability; He understood what it was like to lose one’s health

  • Some adjectives that describe what happened to Jesus: Pierced, crushed, oppressed, afflicted, stricken, smitten, despised

Psalm 69 (68 in Russian)
For the director of music. To the tune of "Lilies." Of David.

Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.

I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me.

I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, 
 looking for my God.

Those who hate me without reason outnumber the hairs of my head; many are my enemies without cause, those who seek to destroy me. 
I am forced to restore 
what I did not steal.

You know my folly, O God; 
my guilt is not hidden from you.

May those who hope in you 
not be disgraced because of me, 
 O Lord, the LORD Almighty; 
may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel.

For I endure scorn for your sake, and shame covers my face.I am a stranger to my brothers, 
an alien to my own mother's sons; for zeal for your house consumes me, and the insults of those who

insult you fall on me.10 When I weep and fast, I must endure scorn;11 when I put on sackcloth, people make sport of me.12 Those who sit at the gate mock me, and I am the song of the

drunkards.13 But I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor; in your great

love, O God, 
answer me with your sure salvation.14 Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from

those who hate me, from the deep waters.15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me 
or the depths swallow me

up 
or the pit close its mouth over me.16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your

great mercy turn to me.17 Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I

am in trouble.18 Come near and rescue me; redeem me because of my foes. 19 You know how I am scorned, disgraced and shamed; all my

enemies are before you.20 Scorn has broken my heart and has left me helpless; I looked for

sympathy, but there was none, for comforters, but I found none.

21 They put gall in my food and gave me vinegar for my thirst.

22 May the table set before them become a snare; may it become retribution and a trap.

23 May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see, and their backs be bent forever.

24 Pour out your wrath on them; let your fierce anger overtake them

25 May their place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in their tents.

26 For they persecute those you wound and talk about the pain of those you hurt.

27 Charge them with crime upon crime; do not let them share in your salvation.

28 May they be blotted out of the book of life and not be listed with the righteous.

29 I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me. 30 I will praise God's name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. 31 This will please the LORD more than an ox, more than a bull with

its horns and hoofs.32 The poor will see and be glad— you who seek God, may your

hearts live!33 The LORD hears the needy and does not despise his captive

people.34 Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and all that move in

them,35 for God will save Zion and rebuild the cities of Judah. Then people

will settle there and possess it;36 the children of his servants will inherit it, and those who love his

name will dwell there.

This psalm, written approximately 1000 years before the birth of Jesus, provides an intimate look into David’s suffering. It contains prophecies about Jesus (see v. 4, and John 15:25)

  • Could this be what Jesus actually prayed in the garden of Gethsemane? (V. 9. See John 2:17)

  • Jesus was scorned, disgraced, ashamed, brokenhearted, helpless, alone

  • Victim of ‘bullying’ (v. 11) (v 12 in Russian)

  • Loss of control over his own life, destiny – he willingly agreed to go along with

    the Father’s plan

  • Loss of dignity

  • 69:4 ((68:5 in Russian) describes what many people feel who have experienced

    cyber-bullying. The Psalmist is clearly aware and hurt by what other people think of him, he is entirely misjudged

John 11:35-36
35
Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"

• Jesus wept openly. (Why is it, in many cultures, that we are ashamed to let people see us cry?) Bereavement: loss of a dear friend and brother to death. Loss of his sense of personal peace and comfort, because he chose to empathize with Mary and share her pain.

John 13:21-30

21 After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.”

22 His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant.23 One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.24 Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”

25 Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”

26 Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. 27 As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” 28 But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. 29 Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. 30 As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.

Mark 14:30-52

30 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice[a] you yourself will disown me three times.”

31 But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba,[b] Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.

44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” 45 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 The men seized Jesus and arrested him. 47 Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

48 “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49 Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” 50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.

51 A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52 he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

  • All his friends deserted him on the eve of his martyrdom.

  • Jesus knew this would happen before it took place. What kind of emotional

    trauma would that have produced, in the hours leading up to his torture, and death by crucifixion?

    Mark 14:66-72

    66 While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by. 67 When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him.

    “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said.68 But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he

    said, and went out into the entryway.[a]69 When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around,

    “This fellow is one of them.” 70 Again he denied it.
    After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of

    them, for you are a Galilean.”

    71 He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.”

    72 Immediately the rooster crowed the second time.[b] Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice[c] you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept.

• Loss of relationship with Judas and loss of relationship, at this point, with Peter

Deleted: Despair, as he was

Matthew 27:46

46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,[a] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

Mark 15:34

34 And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

  • No doubt, Jesus was dealing with tremendous loss as he hung on the cross. I used to think, because of verses like Isaiah 59:1-2 and 1 Peter 2:24, that when Jesus quoted Psalm 22 and cried out, “God, why have you forsaken me?” God had, at that moment, turned his back on Jesus, because Jesus somehow had become sinful (because of all of our sins) and so God, in his holiness, couldn’t be present with him any longer and still retain his perfect holiness. I no longer believe that. Jesus was God, and one with God, and yet was willing to give up equality with God and come live in a human body and suffer right along with all of us sinners. He willingly lived among and loved all kinds of sinners for 33 years. He told the crowds that he was accused of being a friend of sinners. I now believe that the only way in which God “forsook” Jesus on the cross was in his silence, in the fact that he did not rescue his son; but I believe that God was totally present with him, as any loving human Father would surely be, while watching his heroic offspring be so obedient and faithful! Some scriptures I believe that support this notion are Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 43:1-7; John 16:32; John 17:21-22; Colossians 1:9; 1 John 4:15-17.

  • Loss of his sense of well-being; loss of hope in the possibility of rescue or protection from the cross

  • In summary: Jesus experienced a great deal of loss. No marriage, no children, no attainment of many typical human achievements; loss of health, family relationships, loss of idealism and trust in authority figures (especially spiritual mentors), loss of his earthly father, cousin, friend; loss of hopes and dreams.

    Thank you for reading.

The Power of Closed Doors: Retirement Plans Gone Awry

Vivaldi Plaza near Paveletskaya Metro in Moscow

Vivaldi Plaza near Paveletskaya Metro, Moscow. Nov 2017

90’s in Moscow

We had the great pleasure of living in Moscow from 1991 to 1999, during an amazing moment in history. Perestroika, the Wild West, it was called at times, so many profound changes took place at breakneck speed. We moved to the U.S.S.R., the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics or the Soviet Union, and a month later it all fell apart. The night President Boris Yeltsin made his historic speech on top of a tank in the center of the city, I happened to be there, needing to cross that same square to meet Andy, who was waiting for me with a young couple in one of the Western hotels, where the wife was about to be baptised. I'll never forget the feeling, cutting through that crowd — one of many unforgettable moments.

It was a time of unprecedented freedom. I knew God had done a miracle with the timing of our arrival and the unfolding of significant historical and political events — the Berlin Wall had come down only about a year and a half earlier. By 1994, Andy wisely read the signs of the times and stopped doing any public speaking for the church in Moscow. God had already brought the men and women who would become the foundational building blocks for this community of believers into God’s household (Ephesians 4:19-22); this development only served as another good opportunity for their growth and development and Christ-formation.

Impossible Plans

Now, when I look back and see all this in the rear view mirror, my appreciation for the miraculous timing of God in sending us in 1991 simply skyrockets. I was one of those naive people, living in Kyiv in 2022, reading the news reports about the threat of impending invasion into Ukraine, unwilling and unable to believe that our neighbour nation would actually fall upon their close brothers and sisters so violently. Surely we would have learned something from our parents, who lived through World War II? I have been sobered and chastened for my naïveté, as Christ-formation in me and all the rest of us continues, with more suffering than I expected or imagined.

Since we left Russia in 1999, despite our frequent visits back nearly every year, when the Yarovaya law passed in 2016, I still didn’t appreciate the extent of the propaganda and tightening control our friends and spiritual family in Russia were experiencing. Truly, I cannot imagine what life is like for them now. We actually thought we were going to spend the first phase of our empty-nester years living in Russia somewhere, and helping out in whatever way seemed appropriate to our friends, the current leaders of the Eurasian churches there and to the Greater Eurasian Mission Society who for so many years have been supportive of our continued involvement in the work we began in the 90’s. We had no idea how impossible that noble ambition would prove to be. We spent two years knocking hard on that door, living like nomads out of our suitcases. One month in St. Petersburg, then out to process another expensive visa. Then another month in St. Pete. Then out to redo the visa. Then to Yekaterinburg. Out for a month. Vladivostok. Out for a month. Bishkek, Kazakhstan. And so on. Then, on the eve of the discovery of COVID-19, Andy was told that Canadians could have only two weeks without having to submit an itinerary of every meeting, every destination, every person visited during their stay in the country. Bam! — the sound of the slamming door.

We fell in love with the Russian people as individuals and with their rich language, history and culture. We learned so much about community from them. We came at a time when people sat around their tables at night and drank endless cups of tea and talked for hours. We have lifelong friends there, despite the strain the current political situation puts on these relationships.

We will survive this awful time.

Recalibrating.

It was a great pleasure to walk the streets of Moscow with so much hope and vision in November 2017, thinking we were going to be “coming home to Russia” for a while. We have now mourned the loss of these hopes and dreams and have recalibrated ourselves, prayerfully, to adjust to the new reality in which we find ourselves.

As our dear friend Lynne Green often has to remind me: “…we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling… “ (2 Corinthians 5:1-2) “Our citizenship is in heaven.” (Philippians 3:20)

 Originally posted Nov 2017, edited and updated April 2023.